INTRODUCTION

Writings of  this magnitude couldn’t be the work of one person but a many have played major and minor roles in this birthing process.  True enough I lived the life and penned each heartfelt word, I am indebted to a plethora of people God placed along this my life’s journey that gave my life perspective and meaning.

There is one special lady who have helped me beyond words could NOT be penned.  She’s read, listened, suggested, ignored, and improved me and unconditionally loved me.  That nasty person that approached her and treated her the way God would NOT have approved to be perfectly honest.  It was our inopportune meeting and friendship was the reasoning behind the title of this book because it was through your love WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST, that God showed you within that it was something deeper and you CHOSE to stay around to enjoy my ripe fruit…..

Thanks!

I dedicate this book to a plethora of significant people of whom made deposits in my life either directly or indirectly.  This book have been coming to fruition for the past 12 years.  These poems, words of wisdom, words of wit, and words of inspiration goes out to each  of you who God used to get me to encourage and heal myself.

The (Title of This Book) is the words of conviction, change, restoration, healing,, acceptance, love, and growth.  I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS BOOK to those single parents who are shining outwardly but broken inwardly.  We can fool those on the outside but we can’t fool this child of who witness us broken, torn, sorrowful, ashamed, hungry, hatred filled, you know the AUTHENTIC YOU!

To produce ripe fruit, deal with the root was conceived by hidden pain, hurt, disappointments, and confusion that I masked with over zealously helping others and serving others with a warm smile while crying profusely behind the smile.  I am a lover of people and service but didn’t have a full understanding of what the word love was.  I had a child and I couldn’t love him the way I was raised to understand love.  I was informed that love was provisional.  Things that one could provide and I didn’t have the means to “love” my child and I began to go into a rage because I was left alone to raise this male child that asked for nothing but the intangible love, the love you feel but not see.  I couldn’t grasp that but in all actuality, that was I too longed for, and since I wasn’t a recipient of it, I tucked my head and ran from the obvious and turned to the easy road…being abusive because that was what I was familiar with.  I didn’t want to be that way, but it was more comfortable because I had been rejected all of my life from my mom, the one person I sought approval from died and I never got it.  I grew up hearing that she hated her children, she didn’t want her children, she wished we were dead…ALL HURTFUL but when you look at her life, she didn’t have the opportunity to be a child, adolescent, and have her own self to possess her life’s compass…she grew up extremely fast and she didn’t have a father figure while growing up, she was the second eldest of four and she stepped into the mothering role and from that role she became a mother at the age of sixteen years old, I can see the resentment because you didn’t experience anyone catering to your needs and NOW you have to cater to someone needs, I went through a parenting class through the Department of Children and Family Services of which I would highly recommend for all hurting single mothers to go through because it provides clarity to why you feel, do, and say the things you do!  It forces you to deal with the root to produce ripe fruit!  God had used me through a plethora of things.  I had went through the wilderness long enough and it was going through my wilderness experience I found the authentic Marty of which might I add was liberating.  When you get to the point that you don’t care how people perceive you then your life is much freer.  You are who you are and ONLY you can be that person.  No matter how bad your life’s experiences, you have the choice to allow it to be a reality or put your abuse to good use.  God allow things to happen to you for MINISTRY and ministry alone.  I had to learn that everything HAS a purpose and Although I interntally and externally indured hardships, hurts, cuts, scars, and low self-esteem God had to show me that it wasn’t about me, it was about people who are and would be going through things and life’s circumstances for worse than mine and I was NOT supposed to keep my testimony to myself but share of HIS saving grace.  God is awesome.  There is a scripture that I would quote and NOT have full understanding of it and it goes like this:  “All things work together for the Good of them who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!”

 I AM NOT, I WILL NOT, AND I SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED OF WHERE I HAVE COME FROM CAUSE IT IS THE REASON I AM IN MY RIGHT NOW SEASON!!!!