Who?

Who would like to uncover that as a child they lack validity?

Who would like to uncover that as a child  they don’t get what every child really desire and need?

Who would like to uncover that as a child  they receive names from caregivers even the animals would be put to shame to hear?

Who would like to uncover that as a child  they are not treasured by their caregivers and it is the caregivers they honestly fear?

Who would like to uncover that as a child  they weren’t taught their strengthens and intellectual capabilities or even their God ordained name?

Who would like to say to the child they “pick on” I really don’t want this evilness within me, I actually want what you are getting from home and this is validation, unconditional love, conversation, support, nurturance, and things that makes the heart grow fond and not what the naked eye can see, those are the worthy attributes that sets us apart and until then, my behavior will follow me into adulthood and I will remain the same!

NO ONE WILL!

MAYOCA, 2004

I spoke at Cahokia, IL high School in 2004 when they had a community forum on the females and fighting and I penned this poem about how  I felt bullies are created since BEING AN EX-child abuse as well as SELF-hated woman....I UNDERSTOOD THE POWER OF THE FOUNDATION!

As one who was abused and didn’t understand the powerfulness of the cycle of abuse until I surrounded myself and life around people who were truly concerned about where I was heading with my own child.  I had taken a parenting class which taught me how to deal with those hidden scars I had never shared with anyone and begin my journey of healing.

                                                                                                                             

That class Solidified my major in college which was Family and Consumer Science, I wanted to teach parents how to better parent.  I wanted someone who could relate to where I came from without being judgmental and who was their to assist me on this long journey I had to travel for the better.  I appreciate my counselor and facilitator because they enlighten a plethora of issues I just was unable to deal with at the time.

The more I studied in my Family and Consumer Science classes, the more I began to honor where I came from and for that matter how my parents reared me.  The literally was doing their best with what society was giving them.  The deeper I delved into my classes the more I found myself wanting to pull back each layer of hurt, disappointment, fact, etc.

Today, I know better, and I choose to do better and have at my fingertips a number of resources unlike my parent’s generation to make sure that I have strong family connection and unit.   I had to let the pride go and take advantage of the assistance that was being granted me with an understanding…..it was not a hand out but a hand up!  That is why I am reaching to principals of schools with Family and Consumer Science within their curriculum in our predominantly African American School Systems.

I would love to introduce a Mentoring Program Called:

TEACHERS EMPOWERING PARENTS

I approach you in wearing two hats: first as being a single parent and second as a Substitute Teacher within my local School District!

How can parents get fully involved in their children educational journey when there is a since of inadequacy or self consciousness of the lack of knowledge they should know in confronting the school system?

I feel that if educators come to the realization that their oath of servitude goes above and beyond the classroom and make that extra effort to reach those parents who really would love for you to be in their mix but in a more constructive manner, I know that you can get the results from the students you are seeking!

You’re familiar with the plight of the African American family of today.  There are a plethora of extremely young parents who are heading households without basic home-management skills.

I feel that teachers can redirect the parents skills they already hone and gear them in a much more healthy direction.

You represent the key, it is you who have the answers that we seek to get out of poverty, prevent teen pregnancies, young adult delinquencies, school drop out, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Depression, Life’s Stresses, and how to effectively manage a single parent household.

I would like to see educators address health, cultural, social, and economic deprivation that plague underserved communities.

Empowering parents to have cultural, and genealogical knowledge will open wounds that will no longer enable them to say I don’t know why I do and say what I do but have an understanding and come to the realization that we are not living in that day and time.  They have permission to be effective parents.  With a more positive attitude towards parenting, and outlook on life during those dire circumstances that will equip the parents to take full ownership of their behavior and be mindful that these vessels are being filled with things we don’t like concerning their own lives.  A change for the better has to prevail!  If I don’t have an understanding of respect, dignity, and justice; there is no way I can teach my child!

 T
he school districts recognizes that all stake holders which are: students, parents, teachers, auxiliary staff and administration have rights and responsibilities which should be protected!

This mentoring concept is designed to strengthen the bond between the parents, educators, and students and to enhance the commitment of learning and reinforce values and positive attitudes and behaviors nurtured by the teachers and parents.

A school’s goal is to get 100% involvement from the parents so that their children could reach their maximum potential.  It is difficult when a parent is torn between putting food on the table or “volunteer” or shall I say being a face within the school.  Parents wear many of hats, and every parent would like to see their child do extremely well, what I petition to you educators to do is to reach out to parents who have outstanding gifts and talents and allow them to display them and then they feel that they can contribute what they know and then that is where the road of education begin!

Parents must understand that it is they who must first exemplify:

Respect

Reasoning

Support

Caring attitudes and Consideration

Dignity

Self-awareness

AND

Fair and Just Treatment

And then and ONLY then will we see….

A generation of young women and me of dignity possessing that spirit of resiliency!

Parent Empowerment Tactics Through:

Acceptance

Education

Validation

Encouragement

Concern

Non-Judgmental Demeanor

Empathy

Readily Available Resources

If you don’t love enough to see change for the better, change for the better is NOT what you’ll see!

The hardest thing to get one to do is look inward and see that it is a number of things they hare hiding and until the uncover those scars, there will NEVER be true healing!

What parents do consciously and unconsciously has an adverse effect in the lives of those vessels of which we pass on from generation to generation ever so unfairly!

CHILDREN ARE INDEED OUR GREATES ASSESST…

TO PRODUCE RIPE FRUIT, WE MUST DEAL WITH THE ROOT!

Until we choose to take this philosophy coined by myself, and compassionately convey it to parents in your care, they will consistently be hard of hearing and feeling!

As A recent Family and Consumer Science graduate from Eastern Illinois University….

I learned about values, setting goals, money management, and a wealth of other knowledge.

I would love for our school systems to expand their Family and Consumer Science Departments and go beyond the “basics” and encourage our parents to open up bank accounts, balance check books, shop economically, save their financial resources, and learn more about investing…

THE WHOLE NINE YARDS!

Thank you for Hearing me out!!